The Last Cheese

The waiter passed their table with two plates of fish, each with a little pile of mango. Syd turned in his chair to see where they went.

SydWe’ve been eating well while we’ve been here.

OliverI have two cheese-related questions for you.

SydI’m not a big cheese person, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to…

OliverOkay, okay, that’s fair. If you had to eliminate all the cheese except one, which cheese would you keep?

Syd looked up from his menu.

SydI have a small question. Why do I have to eliminate all the cheese?

OliverYou can only keep one. The others go.

SydIn my refrigerator, or everywhere?

OliverEverywhere.

SydOh boy.

He put his menu down.

SydDo people know it was me?

OliverNo.

SydAll right.

Oliver waited. At the next table, a woman squeezed a lime over her fish.

SydI think cheddar. Cheddar is just so personal.

OliverPersonal?

SydYeah. It’s the one I have in the house. I’m standing in the kitchen, I cut off a piece, eat it. Cut off another piece.

OliverWhile you’re deciding what to have for dinner.

SydYeah, yeah. And then I have mac and cheese. Or a grilled cheese.

OliverWhat about mozzarella?

SydWhat about it?

OliverYou’re getting rid of it.

SydOh no!

OliverPizza.

SydI was thinking about sandwiches…

The waiter stopped beside them with her pad.

“Have you decided?”

SydNot really.

OliverCould we have another minute? Thanks.

She nodded and went to collect some empty plates.

SydCould you put cheddar on a pizza?

OliverYou could, I guess.

SydWould you?

OliverI’d have to, wouldn’t I? Pizza’s gotta have cheese.

Syd rubbed his chin.

SydI don’t like that answer. I don’t like that at all.

OliverParmesan?

SydStop naming cheeses!

Oliver tore a piece from the bread in the basket.

SydWhat are you keeping?

OliverAlso cheddar, if I have to eliminate the rest of them.

SydThen why did you bring up pizza?

OliverBecause I’d miss it. Oh, how I would miss it.

SydMe too, my friend.

Oliver dipped his bread in the oil.

OliverMy second question is: which cheese are you most excited to see on a menu when you’re about to order food? And it’s okay if your answer is the same.

SydBurrata! Easy.

OliverThat was quick.

SydI like when they cut it open and all the stuff comes out. With the tomatoes. Some bread. What about you?

OliverGouda. Especially smoked Gouda on a burger.

SydOh yeah, so good.

Oliver found the burger on the menu and read the description.

OliverThey have that here.

SydWell, there you go!

Oliver kept his finger beside it.

OliverYou’d still save cheddar over burrata, though?

SydWell, yeah. Cheddar’s at home. I don’t go out and get excited because they’ve got some too.

OliverBut you like it.

SydI like it a lot. It’s probably my favorite.

Oliver laughed into his water.

SydI hardly ever have burrata. When I see it, I think, oh, that would be good. I don’t know if I’d want to eat it every day.

OliverYou wouldn’t have to eat it every day.

SydNo, but I’d have to eat it every time I wanted cheese. That’s a lot to ask of something I only like with tomatoes. I love cheese. This is tough.

Syd shook his head, took the last piece of bread, broke it, and put half on Oliver’s plate.

SydI don’t want to get rid of mozzarella.

OliverYou can change your answer.

SydNo, I’ve picked cheddar. I’m just unhappy about it. Cheese is important.

The waiter returned.

“I can take your order now.”

SydWhat was that fish you carried past? With the mango?

“The grilled fish special! Rice, mango, lime sauce.”

SydThat sounds really good. I’ll have that.

Oliver lifted his finger from the burger.

OliverSame for me, please.

She collected the menus.